Three ways you can help your child deal with anxiety that you might not have thought of:

1. Provide opportunities for risk taking
2. Have clear and consistent expectations
3. Check your own anxiety

Children who feel confident and capable are more likely to believe that they can cope with their anxious feelings or approach the thing(s) that are making them anxious. Try to give them lots of opportunities to take risks and be successful so they feel confident that they can overcome challenges. Try to pick activities that are unrelated to the things that trigger their anxiety, but may still make them a little bit uncomfortable. Examples of risk taking opportunities could be things like: taking them to a new playground they have never been to, letting them use a new tool in the kitchen, or giving them a responsibility they haven’t had before.

Waffling in your expectations of your child can add to their anxiety. For example, if you child is struggling with separation anxiety and you are unclear about when you are leaving or how many goodbye hugs you are going to give, then anxious thinking will insist that your child keep pushing for more. The more the child listens to the anxious part of their brain, the more power it gains and the more persistent their anxiety may become. Having clear expectations that look the same every time will help your child be more able to consistently tackle their anxious thinking. You can still be compassionate about their experience and acknowledge your child’s emotions without creating space for more anxiety.

Are you anxious about your child being anxious? Many of the families I work with describe having to walk on eggshells around their child when they are feeling anxious. This can add tension to an already tense environment. Make sure you take care of yourself so that you can provide a sense of calm and confidence when your child is having a hard time. Children cannot easily regulate their emotions when they are around someone who is also unregulated, so managing your child’s anxiety really does start with you.

There are lots of different tools and approaches parents can use to support their children while dealing with their anxiety, but sometimes thinking outside of the box can lead to small lifestyle shifts that encourage the child to feel less anxious or push back against their own anxiety.